The new 20...

Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed, and in such desperate enterprises? If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Henry David Thoreau

There comes a time in every girls life when she realizes, “OMG, I’m going to be 30.” That happened to be on the advent of my 25th birthday. There, five years distant, the big 3-0 was glaring at me, quite like the much maligned silvery white hairs that I began to notice more and more of. Thirty. 30. What is it about this number that invokes such fear and loathing into the hearts of 20-something single women everywhere?

I remember the day my mom turned thirty. I was one day short of turning four, and was excited for my birthday and the presents I knew were coming. My mom, though, sat down in a booth at Hardees and cried. I remember seeing all of the old people in their booths, drinking coffee, the air hazy with cigarette smoke. I didn’t understand why she cried—and in fact, I still don’t quite understand it.

In two months, I will turn thirty. To be quite honest, I’m really quite indifferent to it. A year ago, the thought of being thirty and single scared me. Recently, though, I’ve come to accept it for what it is—nothing more than another day passing. It’s true, I’ll be older—I’ve come to accept that, too. It’s also true that I haven’t accomplished what so many of my peers have. I don’t have fame, or fortune, a husband, or kids, or even a house…yet.

Had I been born twenty years earlier, turning thirty may have brought me to tears, also. The prospect of facing life alone, wearing polyester pants with a mélange of kitties for company is enough to make any girl shudder. Of course, the Newsweek article, The Marriage Crunch published in 1986, probably wouldn’t have helped things much, either. This is the famous piece that reported a 40 year old single woman was, “more likely to be killed by a terrorist,” than to ever marry, (Newsweek, 1986). It also stated that if a woman remained single past the age of 30, her chances of snagging a husband dropped to a mere twenty percent, and if that same woman was still unwed by the age of 35? The possibility of marriage was less than five percent.

However, the odds are looking better for women who choose to marry later in life. The more recent article from Newsweek, Marriage by the Numbers show that both men and women are waiting to wed later in life: age 27 for men, and age 25 for women, (Newsweek, 2006). More women today choose to pursue education and careers before pursuing husbands and kids. And first time marriage for a woman in her 40’s is more likely to happen—40.8% more likely!

So, what does this mean for myself, and for other women facing the same issue? I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better to know that life won’t end after thirty.