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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The top 10 reasons I love my mom...

10. She never asks me about my sex life (because I'm not supossed to have one).

09. She thinks that I'm beautiful, even when I'm un-showered, wearing glasses, scrubby-haired, and have a horrible breakout.

08. NOBODY makes meatloaf like my mamma!

07. She always supports the decisions I make (even if she thinks their wrong).

06. She's proud of my accomplishments, even when I (and the rest of the world) think I suck.

05. She thinks I'm smart.

04. She can tell over the phone that I'm upset about something, even when I think I'm hiding it.

03. She buys me turtley things.

02. She loves my friends because my friends make me happy.

01. She loves me no matter how ugly I feel, how badly I screw up, or how mean I've been to her.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Ode to a pimple apon my brow...

Although you are little,
So small I cannot see,
Do you already know
How much pain you cause me?

You hide behind my well groomed brow,
Throbbing all day long,
Although I'm sure you'll raise your head,
If a cute boy comes along!

Oh, tiny little pustule,
I hate you to the core!
Please make your stay a short one,
Because your presence I abhore!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

So lately...

I've been hearing all of these commercials about "pink in the sink" when you brush your teeth. I don't put much stock into commercials.

This morning, I was brushing my teeth, and I saw PINK in my OWN SINK! Surely, I don't have bleeding gums or gingivitis! I'm a good girl! I brush, I floss, I Lysterine faithfully!

Then I realized I was using sparkling cinnamon toothpaste.


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Ok, so what do you remember about me?

(as seen on a blog I read and posted here word for word)

If you read this… if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don’t speak often or don’t really know each other)..... Your job, your mission, nay - even your new goal in life is to post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me.It can be anything you want - good or bad.

It can be about that time when I spent the night with you in the South American jail because you got drunk and tried to pick up on a cop.... or it could be about that night that felt like that time half a forever ago when you and I hopped on railroad cars and rode clear across Kentucky… BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you’re finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON’T ACTUALLY remember about you!

Post away - and be creative!

To give you an idea, this is the memory I posted on a blog i read.

Hey, dude, d'ya remember that time we were in Morocco in the Peace Corps? And we were going to the coast for some R-n-R, and when our jeep crapped out in the desert, we hijacked those two camels, but the one you were riding had a really bad case of gas and i was behind you, and that SOOO wasn't cool, but along the way we happened on this tiny village that had like, a bunch of grass huts? And they were trying to defind their village against a massive Peruvian fireant invasion? And we came to their rescue with two canteens of water and some strategically placed magnifying glasses? and in gratitude, they chief-dude offered us each a pick of the villages most beautiful virgins--which was great for you, being a guy and all, but really sucked for me, b/c I'm not exactly into playing for my own team, y'know? so i asked for a male virgin, and everyone laughed at me, b/c there is no such thing as a male virgin? yeah, not cool, dude..but really good times...

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Posting just to post...

because I really have nothing worthwhile to say right now.

Until I can think of something to write about, please enjoy this picture of me in Hell (Michigan, that is).

Monday, February 06, 2006

Do you have any idea...

how much a fuel pump sending unit for a Chevy Blazer costs? Yeah, I didn't either until Saturday. Believe me, it's EXPENSIVE, especially when you count the cost of towing, labor, and tax.

I love my car, but man, but it's never simple, inexpensive things that break on her. I have to do things like replace the transmission, put in a new fuel pump sending unit, or an alternator. Right now, I also have issues with Dex-cool clogging my heater core, somewhere I have a short that causes my turn signal thing to constantly make the clicking noise (though the lights don't blink), half the buttons on my radio have gone black, and my auto-dimmer on the rearview/side view mirrors doesn't work as well as it used to. I also think the heated mirrors don't work either, but that's been an issue since the first accident.

My baby is falling apart, and I can't afford to fix her the way she deserves, or buy a new car at this time, either. What's a girl to do? Ideally, in a perfect world, I would be thin and beautiful, and dating a mechanic. That would solve alot of my problems right now. As it is, I live in a city with no close friends to call when car emergencies strike. I don't know the good private mechanics to patronize, so I have to go with chain stores, and take their word that what they tell me is wrong is actually wrong. It's times like these when I hate being a girl.

So, I guess my next question is: Does anyone know of a good mechanic in the greater Richmond area, aged between 25-35, single, and looking for a well educated, gainfully employed, 6'0 blonde? If so, just tell them I said "hi"! **

**This, in no way, should be construed as an effort to meet men. This is merely for comic effect, unless, of course, you DO know one..but only if they are at least my height...never mind, this is stupid...but you can tell them I did say hi, if you want to....but I really don't think I'm least, not today, anyways....maybe tomorrow?